This thing called life, we can’t do it on our own and why would we want to?

I have always classified myself as strong and independent (not stable 😜) and thought I could work my way through life with little help.

I partly thought this because I’m a bit stubborn but mainly because I didn’t want to appear weak, vulnerable and to be honest I was too scared to let my defences down and too shy to actually ask for help.

I have seen the error in my ways and realise that to really experience life and get the most value from it, we need people. And you all know my thoughts on vulnerability – hence the name and theme of my blog.

We need people to: love, work with, talk to (I mean really talk where they’re actively listening), bounce ideas off, laugh with, cry with, moan to.

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And we sometimes need people to take over and be the crutch, the support when we feel like we can’t go on.

My emotions have been a bit all over the place this week, a lull set up camp and I felt a little disjointed. I put it down to post holiday blues but naming it didn’t make it disappear. Plus, I’m not sure that it was the actual reason.

I did however feel so much better having people there, not to judge or to fix me, but just be there. Texts with one friend, impromptu dinner with another, a couple of video calls and suddenly I didn’t feel so alone. To actually air how we are currently feeling really does expose it to the light and it can make the situation more bearable.

To hear the battles and obstacles other people are facing reminded me that life is hard, it can sometimes be shit and unfair. Running from how we feel or masking our feelings with social media, shopping, drugs, alcohol etc. can only work for a short time. There comes a time where we have to sit with our feelings and speak to someone we trust.

Which brings me on to my writing journey.

For years I have wanted to be a writer, but squashed that dream down with negative self talk and dangerous comparisons. When I finally started to tell people I wanted to write, far be it from laughing in my face and telling me how unrealistic I was, I got messages of encouragement and recommendations.

Since then I’ve become a member of a book club for writers, attended a workshop for intuitive writing, joined a flash-fiction writers group and……

I finished my first ever short story A piece of me!

This was due to a supportive creative writing workshop I attended. The host, Sean, was so kind, patient and understanding and was a great critical voice to have. I not only learnt that I can actually start something and complete it but I can actually handle constructive criticism – go me! If you’re based in London and are interested in writing, I recommend his workshops 100% – https://www.thenewmachine.com/ 

Yes, sometimes there are paths and journeys we have to take on our own but along the way there’ll be people to guide us.

I’m learning more each day to embrace this and to accept help when it’s offered. Next step, starting to actually ask for help too…….

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Emma x

Instagram: @emmalouhalliday

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